Mothers Guilt

So you thought hospitals were safe!!! And thats what they want us to believe...but I soon found out otherwise. A condition inflicted upon all mothers at the time of the first born child. Mothers guilt!

I had never before heard of this condition. Never been warned. Never could have prepared.

Mothers Guilt is defined as an unrealistic sense of expectation of ones self with regards to every need imaginable of ones child/children. Found most commonly in women.

The predominant criteria of the condition is the belief that one must meet each and every need of the child at any and every time of any and every day at ones own expense, and total loss of awareness and consideration of ones own needs.

Symptoms include overgrown underarm hair, chronic regrowth and un-waxed eyebrows. Symptoms also include loss of conversational skills outside child's developmental stage. Poor awareness of fixation on child's sleeping patterns and millilitres of milk consumed by child per day.

Male are genetic carriers of the condition, but rarely display symptoms. Women suffer the condition at the rate of 1,000,000,000,000,000 to 1.

Most debilitating aspect of the condition is the generalisation of symptoms across to the male counterpart. Women find themselves also meeting the demands of selectively useless husbands.

Prognosis favourable when diagnosed in early stages, particularly before the birth of the second child. Condition can prove chronic if left undiagnosed and will persist until ones departure to another more peaceful existence, or alternatively relocation retirement to Greek Islands.

Male counterparts typically have an interest in maintaining the condition and typically resist treatment options for the female sufferer.

After having been diagnosed myself by a very wise and insightful friend of mine, I feel it is my duty to share this wisdom with all mothers and urge you to self diagnose and do as I have decided to do:

5 Things I refuse to feel guilty about:

1. I refuse to feel guilty about the sense of relief I feel after dropping Master 3 at daycare and feeling a greater sense of sanity working with psychologically unwell clients than functioning as a parent

2. I refuse to feel guilty about leaving my child for a night, or god forbid 2 with his doting grandma Nanny Sue, who will be feeding him chocolate for afternoon tea and getting him to bed no earlier than 9.30PM because I'm playing sport.....yes something for ME!

3. I refuse to feel guilty that on the rare occasion since Master 3's birth, I have maxed out the credit card on a shopping expedition (without said Master 3 in tow) arriving home with bags labelled only Tiffany, Mimco, Witchery and Cue.

4. I refuse to feel guilty that I said no to the $2 merry-go-round horse ride outside Coles and ignore the subsequent attention seeking demon-like behaviour of my little angel, leaving him to scream to his hearts content despite the looks of horrified grocery shoppers.

5. I refuse to feel guilty that I say no to Master 3's demands to attend preschool in his Buzz Lightyear outfit, including helmet and wings, despite his cries indicative of heartbreak.

Treatment of this condition must include regular child free gatherings with trusted female friends who each remind you of the wonderful mother you are, and the individual you also deserve to be.

Relapse is common but friendly slap around by previously mentioned trusted friends maintains good management of this insidious condition.

Please share with us your 5 things....

Kurly K