Me: "Miss 6, would you like to come to my house for a sleepover and play with Master 3?"
Miss 6: "Ummm, what are you doing tomorrow?"
Me: "Im not sure yet"
Miss 6: "How about you think about it and get back to me!"
Gone are the days when Miss 6 may have been super excited just to have a sleepover at Master 3's house.
Why is it so hard to excite kids these days?
We live in a society where kids are flooded with material possessions. Most kids have a DS before they start school and a mobile phone well before they finish primary. Not to mention the collection of Ipods and Ipads that are a standard addition in the hands of most kids in my waiting room. Playstations and TV's IN THEIR ROOMS together with laptops and open internet access. What do kids NOT have these days?
They don't have free, unstructured 'use your imagination' kind of play. I was fortunate to have grown up on acreage where weekends consisted of plenty of outdoor play. Pushing each other around in the wheelbarrow and building secret caves from strung up old laundry sheets filled the day, interrupted only by mum calling to come in for lunch. My husband talks of his childhood in such fond terms when he recalls riding his bmx around the streets, climbing trees and embarking on adventures in the bush....without adult supervision! No Ipods, only a walkman that ran out of batteries. No Laptops, but a shelf of encyclopedia's and certainly no TV in the bedroom, just 5 girls having to watch the same TV in the communal lounge room....and god forbid, actually play together!
We flood our kids with things, fun stuff, entertainment. Kids are constantly provided amusement. They have no idea how to be bored.
We want kids to draw on their own resources to seek out self amusement and self satisfaction. We want kids to seek out social interaction and social play. We want kids to use their initiative to learn, play, discover....and providing constant amusement in the form of 'fun stuff' smothers the child's potential to do so.
I have such fond memories of my Nanny and Poppy taking me to the circus when we were little. I can still recall the feeling of amazement as we approached the big top, and I remember feeling so lucky that we were given a bag of popcorn to share as we watched the show. So when the circus came to town just a few weekends ago I was so excited to relive the experience with my own child, my niece and nephew. I anticipated a buzz of excitement amongst the kids....only to realise that they were more interested in getting their own bag of popcorn and fairy floss, which of course they all got. And when the man came around with the glow sticks, they all wanted those. And then the same bloody man came back with flouro light sabres....and they wanted those too.
I have this feeling that their experience of the circus wont be quite as memorable and long lasting as mine.
One of my golden rules with kids...never have your kids in a situation where they have everything they want. Movie stars have everything they want, hence the next thing has to be bigger, better, shinier...and eventually illegal!
In this day and age, computer games and Ipods may not really be avoided, but they certainly can be limited. Don't indulge your kids giving them everything they want, leave them wanting and wishing for something. Have them earn things and help them learn a sense of value. The value of something that's come easy is lost all too quickly, with possessions discarded and interests rarely sustained. To have poor appreciation for things when we are little, leads ultimately to poor appreciation for things when we are big. The expectation that mum...dad...the world provides us fun stuff and things of interest doesn't change just because we get older in calendar years. We continue to expect to be 'made' happy but our interest is devalued, leaving us needing more just to feel happy.
Higher expectations with poor sustainability....potentially a recipe for depression.
Kurly K
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